The tomatoes are growing.  This is the one that’s further along.  There are quite a few more.  I go out and water and look and wait daily.  The lettuce grew swift and sure and for some reason, has all tasted far more bitter than I had anticipated.  I am wondering about the tomatoes now, not projecting, not able to do anything at all but let them grow and become whatever it is they are going to become.

Likewise, my girl’s slow journey continues.  Along with serious self-injury two weeks ago, she has been making other bad choices at school so it is two weekends now without being able to have her home.  She came down with a bad cold this weekend so last evening, we went over to see her.  Sherod stayed in the truck and she and I sat on porch swing they have in front of A House, where she lives.  I put my arm around her and she put her head on my shoulder. I sang her the lullaby I invented for her when we got custody of her, now 13 years ago.  Then we just swung in silence for a while, I aching to scoop my baby girl and bring her home.  I cannot project, I am not able to do anything but let her continue to grow into who she is able to be.

My work is done for the day, later I will walk. For now I can knit.