Where I Do Not Want to Go

photoIt was another tough ramble last night.  It rained during most of my time walking and I say something about where I found myself when I say I welcomed getting cold and wet because it was a distraction from misery.  I was only about a block from our home when a large shadow arced right in front of me and settled back on a tree.  I turned to look though I already knew it was my sweet friend and totem, the owl.  For the heck of it, when I got back home, I did a quick Google search on “owl totem”.  The site I landed on said

“*Intuition, ability to see what other do not see
*The presence of the owl announces change
*Capacity to see beyond deceit and masks
*The traditional meaning of the owl spirit animal is the announcer of death, most likely symbolic like a life transition, change” (http://www.spiritanimal.info/owl-spirit-animal/)

Now, this is all as loosey-goosey as can be and I know it.  At the same time, if there is anything I know for sure  it is that since I first began this blog, right before Ash Wednesday of 2011, much of my life has been about trying to see in the dark, walking with very little in the way of light and clarity.  Last night when I looked at the picture I had snapped of my fellow creature, I was struck by the enormity of eyes that have evolved over time to receive as much light as possible. This is a necessity to survive and make sense of what seems senseless.   A piece of music I listen to often on my rambles comes from Godspell (yes, I date myself; along with Jesus Christ Superstar, this is some of my most favorite 20th century reinterpretation of the story of my faith). Except now I think the way I must sing this is “Night by night, O dear Lord, three things I pray”.  I am getting used to the truth that it is in the night that I will find and be found–and that even in the darkest nights there is enough light to see.

3 thoughts on “Where I Do Not Want to Go

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