Almost Epiphany

pesebre

 

The magi are close now, just two more days.  My mom gave me this crèche years ago and when I got it back then,I put it away so well that I never saw it again until I found it this fall.  It is a rather lovely set, hand carved in Perú.  It has been a gentle kindness for me all through these past weeks, filled with meaning and memories–the only Christmas decoration left in the house (not that there were more than a handful to begin with).  The Christmas lights are also beginning to come down around the neighborhood and I came across lots of discarded Christmas trees last night.  I’m getting through a cold and still don’t feel great, though I’m also relieved that this particular time of the year is almost behind me.

We got through it. More than that, really.  I made a point of not pretending.  When I needed to be sad, I just was.  There were some absolutely magical moments with María, unexpectedly. Sherod got her an electronic photo frame and loaded it with about 200 pictures extending back to when we first met our girl in México.  On Christmas Day, María was quite dismissive of her gifts, disappointed though I am not sure what it was she wanted.  After being with us for about 10 minutes she informed us that it was time for us to leave.  We’ve learned not to take that personally and headed back home.  But the next morning, she called up bubbling with joy and wonder, describing one picture after another, telling us she’d woken up several times in the night to look at the pictures scrolling in her frame.  It’s not the first time we’ve been able to give María her history and an honor that is…

My ever so dear friends Charles and Tom, who moved away from Ft Lauderdale several years ago, dropped by for surprise visit on Saturday–I was out walking over the 17th Street Causeway when I checked my Facebook page and there was a  message from them.  New insight:  it is great to get good news on top of a workout-induced endorphin high… I had enough advance notice to prepare some coffee and get some nice pastries, took out some of the nice china and silver, and was glad for the opportunity to have them at home with us.  Christmas has always meant having the house full of people and this visit was what felt bearable this year.

Now, it feels like there is nothing but busy and that too is good.  Today is my day off and we are ready to take a new step with our girl that is a bit scary and very hopeful.  I am going to pick her up by myself early this afternoon and she and I are going to see Les Miserable together.  The folks at BARC are primed, I will have their number on speed dial, and we’re going to a theater close to them, in case anything goes wrong and I need help.  But the fact that we could plan this is progress.   Maybe all the crying everyone tells me accompanies this movie will help clear out my sinuses :-).

I inhabit a full and complex life these days and for that I am grateful.

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