The drive from Lowndesboro to Tallahassee is lovely–most of it is on one-lane back roads through towns with melodic names like Letohachee and Lapine and Petry. I was only on a stretch of interstate for about an hour. Boo and Daisy were along for the ride and as always, good company. There is a marvelous and inexpensive place called Pet Paradise Resort where the girls get to chillax while I tend to my daughter. As you can see from the picture, they even have a pool to play in. So I drove into Tally, dropped them off and made my way to TDC. This was the 1-month review meeting, a time to assess how the transition has gone. Not so well. In fact, Our girl has tried and tested the system in every possible way. What used to amuse me, her endless craft and cunning, now fills me with weariness. I wonder when we will get to even begin to consider bringing her to our new home for a few days. Months? Years? Ever?

Her need for attention and those horrible patterns for trying to get it leave me way far out on the edges of her life now. Maria is shut down so after 45 minutes with me she basically excused me to leave. I will see her briefly tomorrow and then I head back home. Tallahassee is a college town and I go right through FSU on my way to see her. I couldn’t stop myself from imagining what it would have been like to bring my daughter to college, how I would have been both elated and heart broken, dreaming so many dreams for a future filled with wonder. Another lesson in accepting what is: that kind of thinking just makes it worse. On the eve of my 26th wedding anniversary and after a hard day, I am headed out to take myself to a movie…

later
The theater was just too skanky looking so I headed back to the hotel but missed a key turn. Instead, trying to turn around, I took a left into what looked like an entrance to a park. Long story short, I had stumbled into a lovely park around a lake with a great walking trail. Of course that was what I needed. Doing the circle, I came upon this:

And then, an old beat up helicopter like Sherod flew in Vietnam, and on this eve of our anniversary, it was like he was right there beside me, that brave, honorable man I love

I found a a Trader Joe’s a block from the hotel and now have a healthy salad to eat for dinner. The banquet…