Setting:a pole barn in Alabama full of good stuff for hidey holes but it is hot as forty hades…
Lil’bit: Giiiiiiilbert. I have been missing you sooooooo much.
Gilbert: Yeah, well kid, it’s hot in here and I’ve been busy. Just got back from my afternoon constitutional with that old man, his dogs and Sunny. What’s happening?
Lil’bit: I’m bored and I’m lonely and that human that brings me food scares me
Gilbert: Listen, come with me.
The two make their way from the pole barn to a small building close by. A shop—real guy’s space with fishing poles and exotic saws, shelves almost to the roof with all kinds of hidey-hole potential, too. The big cat shows the kitten how to use the cat door.
Lil’bit: Wooooooowie zoot, what is this place?
Gilbert: It’s where the air-conditioning is. And food. And water. And stuff to play with. It’s where Sunny and I take our siestas and where we sleep at night. You can stay here if you want
Lil’bit: Oh thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, I love it here already
Gilbert: Take it easy kid—no need to jump on me like that…
Meanwhile back in the farm house, there is great sorrow weighing down like so sacks of rocks. The humans have not seen a little feral kitten that showed up a couple of weeks ago. Did a hawk get him? Were the coyotes by for a visit? What happened? Should they have trapped him and forced him into safer space? They sigh.
The next day, in the same farmhouse, there is great rejoicing under heaven for one who was lost has now been found. Sure, he’s knocked over some human stuff in the human’s workshop but all of it can be picked up and put back up. What matters is lil’bit’s alive, and in a far safer place than the barn. Lil’bit and Gilbert are rolling around in the sawdust when the woman human comes in and puts some food in the dishes.
Gilbert: Hey kiddo—it is not polite to try to push me so you can eat with me. There’s another dish right there.
Lil’bit: But I want to eat with you. It tastes better like that. And I like how you are rubbing behind my ears, and grooming my back. OOOhhhh, keep scratching that feels soooo gooooooood.
Gilbert: Hate to tell you bud, but that’s not me. Stop eating and turn around and look up.
(Lil’bit looks up and tears off like a bat out of hell)
Lil’bit: Oh sweet mama, she’s gonna kill me, she’s gonna kill me, I know she is. I’m about to pee in my britches…save me sweet Jesus.
Gilbert: Relax. She just wants to be your human friend. Come back and eat. (long pause as Lil’bit approaches the dish with great trepidation) See, she’s doing it again and it’s not so bad huh?